WHAT IS YOUR BRAND STORY?

Humans have connected through stories from before the written word.

It’s the way we retain information and pass it on to one another to educate, entertain and connect.

Stories are not new to us even though the way we use them now is very different. We have stories of our past, stories of our present, and vision stories of our future. We can use these stories to share who we are and to connect with a global audience of people who we may never meet.

The backstories of our lives used to be something to push aside, or always tell in a certain type of favorable light. We held onto our stories that felt shameful or different or even downright sh*tty.

Things are a bit different now with Oprah and Brene Brown leading the way of storytelling and personal brand creation. We all know and follow people online wed don’t know but sometimes we feel more understood by them than some of our ‘in-person friends’. The way they write and what they share about themselves seems both courageous and vulnerable.

We feel relieved that they have said what we also feel deep down. It creates a unique bond. Examples for me are Elizabeth Gilbert and Glennon Doyle. They seem to say the right thing at the right time and they balance their everyday observations with completely personal insights to light the path for all of us. That’s ok for them, I hear you saying, but that wouldn’t work for me. I totally get that but here is the thing. They are not sharing this information to get a shocked reaction of outrage or more notoriety. They are sharing it because it’s real and meaningful for them, their brand and their audience. They want their audience to feel better about themselves, to feel less fu*ked up by saying ‘you thought that this was your dirty little secret but man I’ve been there done that and actually I let it go and I feel pretty great about myself and so can you.’

They are both memoir writers. Sharing their personal stories is actually their profession. They have also built relationships with their audience over a long time and developed their stories over time. What I’m saying is what they share is appropriate and relevant to them and designed for greater connection and sharing truths that seem deeply personal but are also universal.

They attracted followers that love that about them. If you started writing out this kind of thing just because you thought everyone else was, you could be left with what Brene Brown calls a ‘vulnerability hangover’. It needs to be at least relevant and have context. You need to be able to read the room.

It might be a bit strange to tell us that you slept with your best friend’s husband on your Facebook when you haven’t told either one of them.

I mean in some rare instances that could work but mostly it would shut down the connection, not increase it. You don’t want to share stuff that’s just eeew for no good reason.

It’s the difference between saying - “I farted” or “this morning my child said - ‘I farted’ - on a crowded bus and he then proceeded to ask me why do we fart, much to everyone’s amusement. I’m a naturopath that cures inflammation and this is what I told him......”

The other extreme of this is “I haven’t got anything to say? My life is boring and ordinary, what the hell am I suppose to talk about.” First of all, I actually don’t believe that’s true. Think about this, there can be big and amazing stories told by annoying narcissists that could put you to sleep or a tale of a child holding your hand told by a tired Mum that could make you cry.

It’s not the volume of the story or the length of the plot twists or the extent of the drama. It’s about the honesty and vulnerability of showing up. It’s also about the why? Why are you telling me this?

To make me feel sorry for you so I buy something from you? - Ouch.

Or, are you telling me this to add value to my life? We can all tell the difference.

We all have different moods too. Sometimes something is deep and meaningful and sometimes you just want something superficial. Sometimes you want an incredible Insta worthy cocktail and sometimes you just want a cup of tea, damn it.

You can show up in different ways, with different levels of intensity and honesty. The key is not to put yourself under pressure to be something you are not and to learn to weave different strands of stories together to form your brand plait.

The perspective we write from is also so important. Are you the victim in your story or are you the champion? Or are you somewhere in between? Is your story only about the past? The same old thing over and over again. Or do you have a vision story for your future?

As someone who has written 78000 words of a memoir myself, I became so interested in how patterns had emerged over my life. Many of my stories felt different to me. They had different characters and timeframes, there were different plot twists, I was even a different age and many times in a different country. But effectively I was just doing the same thing over and over again.

I was in a pattern hold that looked something like this.... I would be totally into doing my own thing and feeling powerful and creative, and then I would meet a man, and over 52 years there have been few. and I would put my dreams on hold and go and look after them or make them a priority.

I would become a subplot and make someone else the star of the show. It actually surprised me how consistently I did this over and over again until I realised something major.

Your story writes you until you write your story. This can be painful but also powerful at the same time.

We have the power to create a different reality through the stories we tell ourselves and our audience.

What’s your story?

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